Thursday, July 18, 2013

Stone Tears - A Poem

Wrote this many years ago but I still think it's one of the best poems I have ever written. It's also VERY long.


Stone Tears

Heated flame,
Burning brand within,
I beseech thee:
Release me.

Turn solid barrier
Of brick and stone,
Barriers that preclude my pleading call,
Trapped here,
Force to watch your fated fall,
To molten rock,
Made of worthless pain,
Released without shame.
And somewhere deep within the faded dark,
A light flickers faintly once,
Falters twice,
Alight and suffering with sullen pain, no more.

Heated flame,
Burning brand within,
I beseech thee:
Release me.

Is this the end of a beginning?
Or the beginning of an ending?
Never ending spiral,
Repeated a thousand times before.
Once more,
Forevermore,
No more.
The end.
Began again.
Hope for flaming wing,
—To burn away broken chain
That binds you to your pain.
Without a soul,
You’ll suffer so much more,
If I’m not here.
Even then, do not fear,
‘Cause if you scream,
I’ll be the one to hear,
So far yet so near.
Pain burnt away.
And here I lie,
Doing nothing for no reason,
When all I have to do
Is wake myself up,
And bring myself to move.
‘Cause I know,
I’m alive today.

Heated flame,
Burning brand within,
I beseech thee:
Release me,
Before it’s too late.

Take what pieces of my soul,
You may find,
Lost and left behind.
A pool of rot churning in a painful memory.
A charred scar, etched too deep to ever fully heal.
A pain all too real,
Left somewhere in the wake of time.
So now I find myself,
Picking up the pieces,
Shattered on the floor,
A thousand dreams I have had before.
Clear away what once was.
A thousand tiny cuts,
Faded scars, unnoticeable.
Atop a crumbled ruin,
Rebuilt to rise above,
I stand, facing forward,
Never straying behind.
I’ll catch you if you slip.
I’ll be there to break your fall.
Help you ignore the demons call.
So you’ll never have to feel,
Left behind,
Standing all alone,
In fear or failure.
On this crumbled ruin rebuilt,
I’ll be there to break your fall.

Heated flame,
Burning brand within,
I beseech thee:
Release me.

And something I never thought would happen,
Happens.
The minute so tightly wound in fine gossamer threads
Slips through.
The clock ticks once…
Ticks twice…
All is not still.
The day goes on.
And there in dawn’s rosy light,
A tiny teardrop mirror hangs,
Waiting for the fateful breeze,

And it will fall.
Perfection gone.

When all the world sleeps,
And wallows in its chosen pain.
In waking hours cry,
False tears that lack all art and subtle delicacy,
Of a thousand tiny teardrops.
So unexpectedly in dawn’s rosy light,
The weeping widow awakes.
The day has ended.

Heated flame,
Burning brand within,
I beseech thee:
Release me.
Why so fixed on keeping me?

It’s cold tonight,
But this time you won’t give up:
Not without a fight—
Not tonight.
‘Cause you know it’s all right.
This time you won’t be standing on your own,

All alone.

And when it’s dark,
You will have a guiding light,
Through the darkest night.
So step light.
You’re in control tonight.
In this storm of hate,
Abandon capsized ship.
You’re not drowning;
There’s a raft,
To guide you to safe shore,
Through this crimson sea,
Not so deep.
‘Cause the crimson tears
No longer creep.
No longer seep.
‘Cause you’re alive today.
I’ll step forward.
A certain step
In the right direction.
This I know.
The past behind me,
The future in front.
With this in mind,
I know,
There is no wrong way.
The right way is the way,
Right in front of me.

So heated flame,
Burning brand within,
I beseech thee:
Release me.

From all the images,
That haunt my dreams,
In waking hours
Or in sleep.
It’s all the same to thee.
Today I have woken up.
No taunting screams
Wasting me away,
Day by day.
I’ve let it go.
Today is a new day
To start to live again.
And maybe this time,
I’ll be something to anyone.
Faintly forgotten,
Easily remembered.
I’ll take the risk,
And make a difference.
And so should you,
But even if you don’t,
I’ll be there to break your fall.
Tonight the Darkness draws near,
But do not fear,
Even if your light begins to fade.
Don’t give up.
Don’t give in.
I’ll give you some of mine,
Still burning bright.
You’ll see, it’ll all turn out all right.

Heated flame,
Burning brand within,
I beseech thee:
Release me.
Can you not here my plea?

Curdled blood drips,
A viscous volcano,
Ready to explode.
Raining down emotion so long stowed.
Why do you cry for me,
When I’d take a fall for you any day?
From the wake of past’s collision with present day,
Comes future’s greatest strength.
So don’t cry for me.
Even if I’m bleeding through.
Soon or later it will clot,
And things will come through.
A wound, no matter how deep will turn to faded scar.
Down this lowly corridor,
The shadows whisper in the dark,
Anxious for all to hear the secrets that they keep.
Here they come to try to take you away,
Here they call with many a feeble lie.
Here I have come to listen to all they say.
Chanting mirthless tunes in the surrounding gloom.
They call to me,
Though I have taken heed.
They call for you.
But I have warned you.
Bones unbroken,
Stones unstained,
By blood unspoilt,
Will never fill,
Two empty tomes.
I’ll keep my promise,
Even if I’ve broken it before.
Not this time.
I’ll be here,
Whenever you need me.
I’ll be here.
You’ve made me cry before,
But I know I’ve done the same to you.
And even if you never come,
At least you know,
I’ll be here.
This time,

I promise.
And I’ll try my best,
To keep it.


Now heated flame,
Burning brand within,
I beseech thee:
Will you not release me?
Can you not hear my plea?

From far above,
Looking down, way down.
I can see you falling,
Drowning in the darkness.
A vacant soul floundering.
Though you’re in reach,
If I were you, and you me,
We’ve been here before,

Would you do it?
Risk yourself, on my behalf?

My hand’s outstretched.
Ready to pull back,
Just as you leap and miss,
Fall forever, struggling still.
But I promised I wouldn’t,
So here’s a helping hand.

Pray for the crying spider,
Who will have no dinner tonight.
With all things said and done,
Finally cleared up and set straight,
I will walk away and leave your memory behind.
You still have so much to work out in your own mind.
You may think you’ve woken up,
From dreams so cold and dark,
You’re drenched in bitter sweat.
What you don’t realize is that,
The true horror never really ends

—When you wake up.

And all this time you’ve been awake,
Your life’s only real when you’re asleep.
It’s a hell you can’t escape.
It’s a never ending dream.
It’s called reality.

Wake up.

You’re looking tired and afraid.
Lost and confused.
Step outside and take a breath.
Look up at the clear night sky,
Above or below,
It’s entirely up to you.
Perfection does exist,
Rippling cool and clear,
As if in reach.
Or shimmering high and bright,
So far away.
It’s up too you,
So take your pick.
Will you settle for what’s near
And almost pure?
Or what is out of reach
But complete?
It’s up to you,
So take your pick.

Now heated flame,
Burning brand within,
I beseech thee:
Release me.

And as I walk past
Eyes so filled with hopeless desire and misplaced morals.
I think of you and all you could’ve been.
And I remember now,
The last time I saw you,
You were crying tears of blood:
Fresh and crimson they fell.
Your eyes were open—
But filled with desolate vacancy.
Blind to the path before you.
Blind to the path before me.
Together we could’ve cried.
But I could still see—
Even with eyes tightly shut
So no crimson tear would flow.

A lament for our empty souls.

Deep within,
I always knew when you were lying.
Even deeper still,
I knew it wasn’t you that was lying.

It was me.
Always me.

Me—the promise breaker.
Me—the compulsive liar.
Every time it was me,
Never trying.
Always lying.
And all the while you were the one
Quietly dying.
Suffering from all the emotion I’ve never shown.
All the emotion I have never known.
All the emotion you will never know.

Quietly dying.

And now I realize it’s finally time
To accept that this is what I’ve done.

Now heated flame,
Burning brand within,
I beseech thee:
Will you not release me?
How long must I beg for your sympathy?

Today I woke up
And listened to the only sound,
Even in the darkest night
And brightest day;
Through angry haze
Or happy phase,
That can set me straight.

—The sound of rain
Drumming lazily
Against the windowpane.

No matter what,
No matter when,
There is no sound
Closer to me
Than the steady rhythm
Of rain drumming lazily
Against the windowpane.

Standing all alone,
On this vacant shore.
I watch the ebb and flow,
And deep inside I know
Here’s one casualty
This torrent will never claim.
I will walk away without shame.
Hopefully more will follow with time.
In times past,
A silence was established.
Built from a twisted mosaic,
Rebuilt a thousand times before,

A thousand and one times more.

Destroyed no more.
Bullets may fly.
Silent screams may cry.
But louder still—
Voices of reason will speak out.
Delaying or with a little luck,
A little faith,
A little understanding,
Subtle black,
Smeared red,
In intensifying dark,

No more.
Forevermore.

Now heated flame,
Burning brand within,
I beseech thee:
Will you not hear my plea?
Release me.

Late one night,
You were walking down
Some well trodden road,
When you heard some silver instrument play.
Your mind was in a daze.
Misty haze.
Moon’s gentle gaze.
Before it was all too late,
You were shaken awake
And spared an unfortunate fate.
By whom,
You never knew.
Left neither trace nor clue.

Left not even expecting a simple ‘thank you’.

Gone elsewhere,
To be another miracle.
And even if this miraculous spectre is far away,
Unknown as shadow in the night.
You pause to offer some silent thanks.
A prayer for whoever passes good deeds in the night,
Witnessed only by the moon’s gentle gaze.
Misty haze.
Ages pass and history,
Doomed to repeat itself,

Echoes either tale of honourless failure
Or noble valour.

Ancient armour clad knights,
Settleling worthy quarrel
Face to face.
Steel to steel.
Shield to shield.
Face to face.
And may the better be the victor.
In times past,
A battle was fought for honour.
Now we realize
In times present

—Honour is worthless.
Forgotten.
Lost.
Ignored.

Blades bent and rusted.
Screams never heard.
A passing shot gone amiss.
Neither victim nor offender
Coming face to face.

Pain unknown.

See it on screen.
A million miles away.

Agony ignored.

Honour and valour lie buried
Underneath a thousand years of rot and decay.
Clutched in the skeletal grip of an age forgotten.
Sixteen miles away
From shell-shocked chaos.
A bell tolls,
Not time of day.

Hollow emptiness

Of wasted shell.
Unworthy death.
Hope is lost.
Another soul
Summoned by
The sixteenth knell
From one hell
To another.

—Human race,
Accept it,
You’ve lost
All face.

Now heated flame,
Burning brand within,
I beseech thee:
Will you not release me?
How long must I beg for your sympathy?

I know I’m getting what I deserve.
I know so much has led up to this.
I only pretended it was hit or miss.
All along I knew I didn’t have a chance.

I dug my own grave.

Suffering now as I did then,
But I promised I’d clean it up,
Before it was too late.
Now it’s too late.
I denied all along,

But in the end it all came back to me.
‘Cause it’s the truth al the same.

For days I watched,
The mirror image ripple,
Ripple and fall.
Looking back at it all
I really was.

Not all I could be.
Would be.
Should be.

Doing nothing to make
My could be,
A reality.
Defeated before I even begun,
By a rippling image in a mirror.
Don’t be like me.
Don’t fail before you’ve even tried.
There no need to hide.
If you need it,

I’ll push you forward.

So take a step,
One small risk and you’re alive again.
Didn’t you know?

You’re alive today.

So dry these empty tears.
Your soul is full and bound to overflow.
Stand up and step up.

Be whatever you could be.
Would be.
Should be.

I’ll be there.
Even if you stumble.
I’ll be there,
To break your fall.

When you watch the sun set,
Do you think back on all you’ve done?
Was the day good?
Or was it bad?

It was whatever you made it.

Are you proud of it?
The damage you’ve done.
Or the goodness you bring.
Do you wish for better?
Or are you grateful for what you’ve got?
With all this in mind,
How well do you sleep at night?

What will you do today?
When the day is done?

Now heated flame,
Burning brand within,
I beseech thee:
Will you not release me?
How long must I beg for your sympathy?

In the loudest of silences,
I took the time to listen,
And drowning out all other sound,

I heard the wraith’s scream.

With pain coursing through my veins.
So bittersweet.
I embraced sweet defeat.
Hell’s so much better,
With viper venom in control,
So bittersweet.
And I heard the angels' cry.
An echo so deep,
The pain ceased to be
So bittersweet.
So I stood up and chose to defy
This bittersweet lie.
The pain within,
So bittersweet.
No more.
Forevermore.

Now heated flame,
Burning brand within,
I beseech thee:
One last time,
Will thou not release me?

Turn these barriers,
My barren prison,
To molten rock.

I beseech thee:
Hear my plea.

And at long last,
My wish fulfilled,
The heavy walls
Flow as freely as

Stone Tears.

And now at last,
I can keep my promise
And break all your falls.
And I thank thee,
For finally setting me free.

Stone tears
Fall freely
Fall feebly
Without pain…

Nevermore.
Forevermore.
No more.

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